When you idolise someone, you place them on a pedestal, creating a divide between you and them. In doing so, you diminish yourself, and the other person senses this imbalance, responding accordingly. Instead, when you encounter someone you admire, recognise that they excel in their field just as you do in yours. Respect need not be synonymous with subservience.

A few years ago, I was invited to a private screening of American Hustle at the Soho Hotel in London. After the screening, I approached director David O. Russell to compliment him on his brilliant film, my intent was neither to impress him nor get something from him, it was a genuine comment on his movie. The audience attendees seemed nervous, clutching cameras and pens for autographs, portraying David as a figure of reverence rather than a fellow human being whose work they admired. However, I unconsciously adopted the perspective that he is great at what he does and I am great at what I do in my own field—neither superior to the other.

In response to my approach, David replied, “You are doing drinks with myself and the cast!” Had I approached him as a fan, elevating him to an unapproachable height, he would have sensed that. Instead, I came across as a genuine person who appreciated his work and acknowledged his efforts, leading him to treat me as a respected friend.